A Beautiful Disaster

A friend of mine just sent me this YouTube video to try and explain why Kate wants to leave me.  It made me cry so much, because I feel its the real reason shes wanting to leave me. 

So what is it I’m after?

I don’t know, Kate says I don’t want to get better – but I do.  But right now I feel there is no reason for me to get better, I feel like I lost everything that I had.  I’ve lost the closest thing to family I will ever know, I’m loosing my daughter (even though its best for her).  Whats left to get better for?

I think if she hung in there it would beautiful.  I hung in there and waited while she accused me of rape, beating her, forcing her to have sex with others – and she now abandons me when I need her most.  I’m not angry, I’m just hurting so much.

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just ain’t right
Lord, it just ain’t right

Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He’s such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and laughter
Lord, Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight
Hold me tight

Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
He’s such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy, hysterical
I’m searching for some kind of miracle
Waited so long..
Waited So long.

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he’s more than I can take
Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster