“All Good Things, must come to an end” is a quote from Star Trek, which was quoting something else – but I don’t know what. I spent the last weekend on a sort of retreat, getting away from home. I camped out in my car at an undisclosed location far away from home – it was very refreshing and insightful. I’ve come to the conclusion its time to get over Katelyn. The relationship with her – or more so her family is toxic. Katelyn’s family is filled with such hatred at me that they are spewing false lies at everyone about me, and making such huge threats that friends of mine are scared for me. I really care about Katelyn, and to be honest I always will. I don’t think I’m ever going to get over her, and I hope to one day be able to once again be her friend. She was not only my lover, but my best friend.
I’m going to be completely honest about my situation here. I’m in financial trouble, mental health trouble and thats leading me to being overwhelmed with trouble. My car’s gas line has ruptured, the power steering has failed and the brakes are unreliable. The power company has sent me a shut off notice telling me I have until April 11th to come up with $200 or I will not be able to take a hot shower. I owe my server provider $20 on top of that, and my houses internet provider $80.
The State of Michigan wants money from me on my birthday as well, to renew the registration on my car and other various bullshit. I love how the government says Happy Birthday.
I’m also in need of some mental health counseling – I plan on asking for Christian based counseling and seeing if my mental health provider will cough up for it. Christian based counseling is important to me and there’s a great counselor in Kalamazoo that many have recommended to me.
Tomorrow – or now today I meet with my support worker. I’m going to direct him to set up a meeting with all my “natural supports” as the mental health system calls them – I just call them close friends before April 21st. I’m going to the hearing April 21st and I plan on asking my support worker and a small group of friends to be there for me. Facing Katelyn will be hard enough, but facing her family and giving up my daughter just makes a bad situation even worse.
I’m also going to try and repair my old relationship with my church – The River. I don’t know if its possible, but I feel I have to try. I’m also going to ask the adoption agency for the letter from the adoptive parents – and the photo’s of Julia. I’ll post a picture or two here – I promise.
So right now I need a lot help, financially, prayerfully and mentally. Also my birthday is coming up so you can buy me stuff if you would like, or you can just click an ad on my website every couple of days. Also I added a call me button to the right sidebar, feel free to use it to call me anytime as I do get lonely.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Glad you had a great getaway with your mate.
Hope the Christian counselling goes well. It’s hard to tell which is good and which “psychoheresy” (psychology which uses the Bible for its own ends).
And hope you are able to get the money you owe somehow.
You’re going to find it very hard to give up Kate and Julia. You know you love them too much for that. I bet you are going to say tomorrow that you CAN’T let them go… because staying with them is the right thing. Katelyn is not bad and it is not her fault her parents brainwashed her the few times she acted “bad” toward you. Since you know that, you “breaking up” with her will not last. She shoukd not be punished for her parents’ actions… they should be punished for their own actions. Katelyn and Julia need the opposite of punishment. I know you’re not trying to punish but just to save yourself. But you will find it hard to do without them.
I’m really proud of you for being brave enough to take this step. And yes you might get scared tomorrow – but it doesn’t change the fact that you made that decision today. I see you making progress in making decisions for yourself. You are growing and I’m proud of you