I’m posting at 2:41 because I have been having some really bad nightmares of Kate and our daughter tonight. Ones where she ends up dead and the child lives.I don’t remember much about the nightmares but I do remember this one vivid image, Kate in a coffin and our daughter suckling on her nipple. Thats the image I awoke too. For those of you who don’t know Kate has had three open heart surgerys and I’m finally admitting one of my biggest fears is her dying.
I don’t know what to do about these nightmares. I wish when I had them I could just call her up and talk to her, but her guardian would never allow that. So I just lay here sleepless, crying and cuddling with my dog – who is much less cuddly then Kate.
Its nights like these that I need Kate, its nights like these that I need her so bad. I miss her and love her terribly.
