So in the last few hours I have been held together only by faith. Yesterday I received an interesting message from Kate’s father which has caused me quite a bit of anxiety. The sound of his voice is very distressed, but I also know I don’t trust Kate’s dad – and this could simply be bait. I can not legally call him back. I can not really do anything – well actually I can just sit here and pray, pray that God is taking care of the situation.
Typically I’m a type of person who likes to fix things, and get things moving now. I’m relatively impatient and having my hands tied like this is very hard. Throughout the last 12 hours it has almost been a constant anxiety attack. I have a PRN medication for anxiety – but I have yet to take it. I’m trying to see if my faith is strong enough to get me through this. Leaning on God for help has always been a hard thing for me to do and when I’m worried about Katelyn – who I really love – it is exceedingly hard.
The fact that I already have anxiety about meeting the adoptive parents of Julia Friday is also not helping much. I think Satan is trying to ruin something life changing and great. I finally see the opportunity to be part of my daughter’s life, which is a great thing for me. I know Satan is going to use every trick up his sleve to ruin this, but I’m not going to let him.
Please pray about this situation, particularly that Katelyn is okay.
