Takin’ Out The Trash

I spent the last week on sort of a ‘me-cation’ and had plenty of time to think and pray on what has been happening lately.  This bible verse was pointed out to me by someone that just got done going through a lot of the same stuff that I have gone through.

Proverbs 7:22-26:

With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.  All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.

Let me make this clear, I’m not blaming Katelyn – I’m blaming myself.  I should of left her when she was cheating on me, when she was telling me she wanted groups of men to have sex with her, when she was playing games that she would leave whenever I got upset about her sexual wants.  It’s my fault that I didn’t.  I walked right into the noose and all that other jazz.  I should of run when friends were telling me to, I should of ran when Katelyn’s mother warned me, but I did not.  I guess the main reason I did not run is I feared no one would love me because of my disability,

So now that my life is for lack of a better term ‘Clusterfucked’ I need to start putting it back together.  I’ve decided not to delete every part of Katelyn from my life, as I find that immature.  Katelyn is and always be part of my life now – and denying that is just stupid.