To be honest I’m quite angry right now at God.  I could write a whole essay on how pissed off I am right now and why, but thats between me and God.  Instead I offer you this clip from ‘The West Wing’.  The clip is from the episode titled ‘Two Cathedrals’ and President Bartlett, played by Martin Sheen is angry at God because his longtime friend and aide was killed by a drunk driver.  Also one of his staff was shot in an attack on his motorcade.

There is some Latin used and I offer the translations below to make it easier for you to understand.

Gratias tibi ago, domine
Thank you, Lord.

Haec credam a deo pio, a deo justo, a deo scito?
Am I to believe these things from a righteous God, a just God, a wise God?

uus in terra servus, nuntius fui; officium perfeci
I was your servant, your messenger on the earth, I did my duty.

Cruciatus in crucem  eas in crucem
The Hell with your punishments! And to Hell with you!

So I looked at my church’s facebook to see a video that made me wonder.  I took it and uploaded it to youtube to share. Its an advertisement for the men’s ministry’s “Mancation” a camping trip for men.  It features the lead pastor, the executive pastor and the worship pastor.

So today an old friend of mine and the worship pastor at my church is having a Concert.  So today I’m going to see Brian Fraaza in concert.  Brian has a unique style of music which I have always enjoyed.  He was also willing to take me under his wing back when I was homeless and struggling.  He started me out in the church sound booth only meeting me twice, and spent a lot of time with me.  In my usual fashion though I screwed that up, alienating our relationship.

Brian Fraaza

Brian is a great guy, and he is working on releasing his 3rd CD.  I proudly own the first two CDs.  His music is almost a new age country style with a very rhythmic beat and all that fun stuff.  You can learn listen to some of Fraaz’s music at his myspace page.  If your interested in attending tonights concert it is $5 to get in and starts at 7PM.  Its located at The Point on 10th street north of West Main.  If you would like to preview his music look at his myspace or you can watch the poor quality video I found below of him performing at The Union.

Two Men Fighting

Brian Fraaza | MySpace Music Videos

So in the last few hours I have been held together only by faith.  Yesterday I received an interesting message from Kate’s father which has caused me quite a bit of anxiety.  The sound of his voice is very distressed, but I also know I don’t trust Kate’s dad – and this could simply be bait.  I can not legally call him back.  I can not really do anything – well actually I can just sit here and pray, pray that God is taking care of the situation.

Typically I’m a type of person who likes to fix things, and get things moving now.  I’m relatively impatient and having my hands tied like this is very hard.  Throughout the last 12 hours it has almost been a constant anxiety attack.  I have a PRN medication for anxiety – but I have yet to take it.  I’m trying to see if my faith is strong enough to get me through this.  Leaning on God for help has always been a hard thing for me to do and when I’m worried about Katelyn – who I really love – it is exceedingly hard.

The fact that I already have anxiety about meeting the adoptive parents of Julia Friday is also not helping much.  I think Satan is trying to ruin something life changing and great.  I finally see the opportunity to be part of my daughter’s life, which is a great thing for me.  I know Satan is going to use every trick up his sleve to ruin this, but I’m not going to let him.

Please pray about this situation, particularly that Katelyn is okay.

I’ve talked about my church fasting for the month of March and I’ve decided how I’m going to fast with the help of a close friend.  I have decided I’m going to fast breakfast everyday and instead of eating spend that time in God’s word and reading the bible.  I think going on a 3o day fast, or even a day long fast once a week would be unhealthy for me at this point in my life, so I’ve decided fasting during breakfast would be a better thing.

But I have The Fire Academy (hopefully).I’ve heard great things about Hearts Alive and Free, and last year Rob Link the pastor at my church taught it, I so want to go next year!

This is a sad, yet funny video on what if Starbucks was marketed like a church.

I’ve seen way to many church marketing videos online like this – and really didn’t think anything of it.  Now I see how really cheesy and scary looking they are!

I was bored so I did some internet surfing and found this awesome video.  Its amazing seeing some these letters that children write to God.

I ran across a video skit called ‘Everything’ that really show’s God’s love for us in such an awesome way. Take some time to look at it when your feeling down…